I’m currently laying in bed writing this, wide awake. Isn’t it funny how when your baby sleeps through you still wake up constantly just to check he or she is ok?

Carter went to bed at 8pm last night and we’ve stopped waking him at 10:30 for a bottle, and he’s sleeping right through. He’s fast asleep now and I find myself looking at him half wishing he would wake up so we could spend time together, but also enjoying the time to myself.

As a mom, I find I worry all the time! When does this settle down? Why doesn’t his dad wake up constantly just to see if he’s ok? Is he more laid back than me? Not a clue!

It’s so crazy, my little boy is almost 5 months old, he’s growing way to quickly. I still worry about him just as much as the first night we bought him home…I have a feeling this worry will never go away!

At 4:30 am, on a Saturday morning I am wide awake and my baby sleeps. Sod’s law that he wouldn’t wake up when I’m wide awake yet always wakes when I’m tired!

I’ll probably regret this later on and I’m sure it’ll catch up with me that I’ll be tired and our little one will be wide awake!

It’s nice to spend some time to yourself, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to relax because being a parent is hard, nothing is simple anymore. Even just something like going to the shop, you have to pack up to take the baby with you even if it’s literally just outside your house just incase they need something!

Everything you plan has to be around him/her, if you want to go anywhere you have to make sure it’s suitable for a baby, or that he/she will be ok for that long doing something. It’s crazy! You go from only looking after yourself to putting a little humans needs before your own…but! I wouldn’t change it for the world!

Sometimes I find myself feeling as though this isn’t real. How have I got a baby? How am I a mom? I still cannot believe it! Like, It’s so crazy how fast time goes once they’re here. It still feels like yesterday he was born. It’s surreal! But watching him grow, laugh, cry, change every single day, is honestly the best feeling.

I absolutely love being a mom.